Quality Time Instead of More Time
For years I've struggled with the concept of "not enough time". I wanted another day in the week so I could get everything done that I hoped to. I even thought about how cool it would be to clone myself so I could work double time and get even more accomplished during a day, or week, or a month. I struggled with how I was going to get everything done that I wanted to and the mountain of tasks just kept getting higher and higher the harder I worked, scheduling my days and managing every minute. Have you been in this same boat? Living by the calendar, showing up for each appointment, meeting, and person just so they will all be happy with your input, presence, feedback and support? Well, that was me to a T. I worked my ass off to please others and everyone around me was so incredibly happy, accept I wasn't. And no one knew it.
I prided myself on keeping this secret from everyone. I toiled away each day making sure that everyone I needed to please was well taken care of, felt good about me being a part of their circle, or their team and then dragged myself home to work some more and then crash into my bed hoping that tomorrow may be a little bit easier. Accept it never was. For YEARS I repeated this pattern. I was literally working myself to death thinking that it was exactly what I was supposed to do. And you know what, maybe it was for awhile.... but then I started paying attention.
I started paying attention to the quality of things. The quality of a well thought out question or kind word. The quality of a look and how one tiny expression can change the world for a person. It all began with my horses as most things do for me. I began to notice that my time with them was so much better when I focused fully on the quality of my movement, the quality of each and every step and motion I took when I was working with them and the quality of my cues. That was the game changer. The language between us had everything to do with the essence of our communication. Horses are able to listen to the tiniest of movements, energy, and awareness. It is their gift as a prey animal.
And then I thought, "Maybe this is what is needed with humans as well. We all say SO MUCH with our body language. I used to think it was a curse that I could read a person's body language and knew exactly what was going on with them by the way they stood, the way they walked, the tone of their voice, and the speed of their words without all that verbiage that contradicted what I was seeing. I have always found it fascinating that humans are the only species that try to hide how they are REALLY feeling from each other and yet we are the ones that would understand the most.
I started seeing how the quality of my own time was incredibly precious. We all get this one precious life. This one precious time. Who knows when it will end and who cares? Honestly, we shouldn't. We have to trust in who we are, what we're doing right now at this moment. Quality has to do with care, craftmanship, and patience. It means we have faith. It is one of the most precious gifts we can accept. We must have faith that our art - whatever that art may be - is of the upmost quality. Repeat after me, "I will be the very best friend I can be. I will be the very best son/daughter I can be. I will be the very best parent I can be. I will be the very best person I can be.
And why not? You can... So why not?