My mission is to positively change lives through creative expression for women and children with horses at the center of it all.
Through creative expression, we open the parts of our heart and mind that need to thrive in order for our lives to be whole. Fueling our creative fire distinguishes anxiety, anger, fear, and depression. Without ART, humanity is lost.
In Clarity... Carolyne
How often does someone actually listen to you? Your thoughts, your dreams? Listening to myself and others is the most important thing I could ever do. I went through a time in my life, where I never thought I would BE enough. That question, "am I enough?" was on my mind - even as I worked two jobs, gave my family every part of me and physically worked myself into the ground.
I've been an educator and artist my entire life. I've earned a M. Ed. in Curriculum & Instruction along with dual licenses in Art Education and as a Reading Specialist. Through all of my experiences, I have found creative expression, art, and being with horses are where my soul thrives.
Growing up, I experienced quite a bit of trauma. I was an artistic child growing up in a rough and tough family that prided themselves on being strong, being street smart, and taking care of their own. Unfortunately, there was also a lot of emotional and physical abuse in my family. I used to be amazed that my brother, sister and I even survived our childhood. I am still in awe of our resilience and ability to move on.
During those years of struggle, I was fortunate enough to have amazing teachers at school. They recognized my talent as an artisst and the genuine care that I felt for others. I was that child who received the citizenship award every year. All the while I was growing up I was scared to death to cry. It was very taboo in our home. Things like, "I'll give you something to cry for" far outweighed my desire to let it all out. I kept all of my sorrow inside of me. I begged my parents for a horse for years. I wanted one of my own, that I could take care of myself. And then my dream came true right at the perfect time in my life. My father gave me one of his best race horses that was retiring. He was an all black stallion with a white star in the middle of his forehead. His name was CV Apollo. He became my best friend. Through several tragedies that happened one right after another, my horse allowed me to cry quietly in the barn with him or out in the fields on a long ride. He held space for me when no one else would.
In college, he was there for me again when a friend committed suicide. As an adult, I carried so much of that loss with me. I dealt with PTSD when someone passed away because I thought I might be the reason. Little did I know that being a highly empathic person would eventually become a gift.
When I became a mother, so many things changed. It was easy to live my life for my children. I realized very quickly I did not want to create the same traumas that I experienced with my own children. I wanted to be the very best mother for my children. Don't we all? I wanted to take home so many of my students who had lives too close to the one I grew up in. Children who didn't understand how their choices or lack of were mainly because of traumas that their own parents endured and were repeating. I find that many adults who suffered throug their school years, carry that trauma into their own lives today. Those limits that were placed on them in school became a self fulfilling prophecy. My goal is to give clients the opportunity to leave those limiting beliefs behind for good.
Throughout it all, I never sat still... I was the calm in the storm, always helping everyone around me until I lost my way. The pain in my heart from all those years of absorbing loss was too much. I began to feel physical symptoms like my heart skipping beats and panic attacks would come out of no where. And then, as if right on time, horses entered my life once again. These big, beautiful one ton creatures showed me I've been hiding my gifts for far too long. My horses created a peace in my life that is hard to explain. I was able to open up a door, well honestly, my horse was able to open up a door within me that changed my life forever. I will always remember the freedom I felt when I was able to release all of that pain. My horse, Magic, who chose to work with me on a foggy January morning when I thought for sure I would never heal, I would never be myself again, truly started my Equine Gestalt journey. Horses reminded me how important my one, amazing life is to ME ~
I've always been drawn to the elements of nature... Earth, Water, and definitely Fire. I find it so inspiring to spark our imaginations, allow ourselves to burn with desire and believe that anything is possible. Wildfire is one way that nature renews the earth. We may see it as damaging at first; however, it becomes the catalyst for change. Dreams are what keep most of us looking forward in life. And that's how Wildfire Dreams began...