Avoiding things and how they run your life...

As a coach that focuses on harmony and living life with joy, I work with a lot of people that are ready to work on themselves and improve their lives, yet need the support and guidance of someone in their corner. I've had clients come with deep traumatic scars that they released in the quiet of our barn. Some have cried for the first time in years. Others have become aware of patterns in their own life that they had no idea before they decided to get coached that those patterns were actually the very things that were ruining their joy, their happiness for living.

For some reason, I feel that it is necessary for everyone to be aware of this simple fact: What you avoid the most, runs your life. There are great forces happening in the background of your own mind. The subconscious, where behaviors, connections, and the "wiring" of how you do what you do is created. You may think you are fully aware of what you are doing at this moment - which would be your conscious awareness; however, the fact is, it's your subconscious that makes all the decisions.

In order to illustrate what I mean, think about something you would avoid at all costs. A feeling, a situation, etc. For me, one of those "things" was dysfunction in my life. I never wanted to be on a roller coaster of feeling safe and secure, and then, out of no where feeling like my world was going to end at any moment. I didn't ever want to be in a situation where I lost control of my own life. I knew this without a doubt in my mind. I had other things I wanted to avoid... overwhelm, betrayal, frustration. I wanted to avoid all of them and sadly, it was because I didn't know how to sit with any of them. Back to the thing that you most want to avoid... choose only one and remember a time when you felt like that. Truly felt that way. Give yourself time to reflect on how you managed the situation. Was it how you wanted to? Most likely, not. Most likely you acted out, flight, fight, fawn or freeze mode. A brain with unfinished business can only do so much. I was one of those that froze, and fawned. I would shut down. I would make sure everyone around me was happy, no matter how exhausted I was. Unfortunately, these defenses are responses to trauma that happens in our subconscious. In other words, I didn't have the awareness that I was continually over working, continually fearful that I would disappoint my family until I became AWARE of this pattern of behavior.

Is it fair that our brains decided to wire us in a way that stored that trauma response? No, it is not. Is it fair that our sweet souls held onto those feelings and therefore created patterns to avoid that pain, again, no, not really. We may think that everyone else has an easier time in life than we do, or the polar opposite, and think that our life isn't nearly horrible enough, like other people's lives that ours must not be that bad. The point is, we have to stop thinking... and start feeling. Start sitting with all those things we're trying so desperately to avoid.

What feelings will you do anything to stay away from?

If you are too afraid to approach the elephant in the room, call me. We will walk together in the journey. If you need help creating goals for yourself, call me. Everyone deserves to have someone check up on them. Everyone deserves to have someone they are accountable to. I have several coaches in my life... LOL They all make a difference. They all guide me when I need it most. I am forever grateful for the wisdom of my guides. Give yourself the gift of awareness and begin that journey today. Avoiding only prolongs suffering. Let's stop avoiding and see how wonderful life can be when we do!