Parenting is a challenge these days isn't it?
My mind is blown by the access we have for everything we could possibly need to raise our children with confidence, and yet, the daily moments are where the pieces tend to go missing, fallen underneath the dining room table, or under a couch cushion. My husband and I have two amazing kids. They both are talented, smart, passionate individuals with hearts of gold. I'm sure I mirror a lot of moms out there that adore their children in ways that only a mother could. After twenty some years of being an educator and mentor for more than my own children, I can't help but be reminded that my will is not their own. Let me repeat that... My will is not their will. What I would love for my children, may not be what they want or desire in the slightest way
When they were little, we tended to encourage the wild in our children. We wanted them to run as fast as they could, climb trees, jump over streams, and enjoy nature. We loved that they took risks (not too big) and praised their efforts to climb up that boulder or swim like a fish in the sea. I remember how proud I was when our daughter created a speech that she recited during dinner (stood up on her chair even) to end the possible massacre of our beloved rooster. To me, she was ending the world of injustice through the eyes of an 8 year old. She had a wild spirit, one that could not be tamed or domesticated. I marvel at how much we loved their WILDNESS then, and yet as they get older, it scares the hell out of us.
I can't help but think of how our children and what they go through as teen agers is much like those mustangs out in the west that no one knows what to do with. Domestication is a tricky thing isn't it?
We want our children to be innovators, but no too much that they break societal rules. We want them to problem solve on their own, but not when authority says, "think the way we tell you". We want them to question everything, but not us... It's all a slippery slope isn't it? Some children are much better suited to domestication than others. I think I was easily domesticated... I wanted so badly to be accepted and liked. I loved being included and still do. And yet, I've always been a maverick of some sort. How do we help our children who do not absorb society's norms so easily? How do we show them there is unconditional love when their view on the world is that there is none?
It is at these times, I tend to step back and
breathe, very deeply. I remind myself that I am exactly the person I need to be at this moment and if I am not, I have the ability to change that. If I don't like the way I am responding to a person, I can easily change that. I can ask my wild child questions. I can listen to them when they want to talk. I can pay attention to what they're aren't saying which is just as important, sometimes more important than what is coming out of their mouth. Our children are our most precious gift to this world. They are what matter most to our future. If you are struggling with your wild child, please connect with me. I'm always here to listen...