Lately, I've been soaking in the saying, "you don't know what you don't know" and I don't really like it. That saying means that life isn't fair and it's never going to be because really, you don't know what you don't know. There are people who are born into families that "know" about how to create stability in their lives, how to invest in money so it can double while they sleep, how to set up a stress free lifestyle of joy and ease and how to educate themselves in their passions without losing everything. And then there's me...
I don't know what I don't know. The humility it takes to write that and believe it, creates a sense of wonder that I hope never dies. It also allows me to not take myself too seriously. I could spend my entire life learning from others, but that's not what life really is. We've got to live through the experiences. It's all about the experiences!
I've been listening to a dear friend of mine who is going through a very difficult time in her life right now. In her mind, her life is over because of all the change she is experiencing. She hadn't planned on any of this to happen. I listen and remind her that she is doing exactly what she needs to do at this moment and that is all that is necessary. Nothing more, nothing less. She breathes in deep and lets out this massive sigh over the phone. I hear her frustration. I hear the crack in her voice as she explains all that she feels. She wants to scream at the world, "It's not fair!"
Life will never be fair. It's not fair when we have set backs and experience loss in our lives. It's not fair when our health fails us. Sometimes the only way to know is to experience it. I'm thankful today that I don't know what its like to go through what she is going through. The coin can always be flipped the other way.
I believe we all have ways to help us keep our faith about living in this life when it becomes not fair. I am quite the spiritual person so I tend to F.R.O.G. my way through it all (fully rely on God) For some, they focus on one of the pillars of health (spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental) to find themselves back to center. We have to give ourselves time for each. If you think of them as table legs, you can see when one is shorter than the others, everything is off balance.
When looking forward to 2023 there is a lot to look forward to. New perspectives can lead to new habits. What could you do with more time? How do you make more time for yourself? What if all obstacles were removed from your path, what would your life look like?
My desire for this year is that I will be living my life as uniquely as possible. This could be the year that your life changes in every way that you want it to. Life may not be fair, but when life is good, let it be good. Don't worry about when it isn't. I think all that worrying creates exactly what you're worrying about. You ever notice that about people. What they speak of actually happens. What they believe, happens. This year, I'm going to live my life with childlike wonder and curiosity - one that does not match up with what I'm "supposed to be" at the age of 50. Instead, I'm approaching life like I were an 8 year old with a shit ton of wisdom. Now that sounds like a lot more fun. Happy New Year Everyone!