Has there ever been a time when you feel stuck. Like you can't move and you're not sure how you even got to this point in your life, but nothing is happening, everything feels wrong and something has to change. Well, let me tell ya, I know that feeling so incredibly well. I was there, in the quicksand. I was being consumed by a fear that I would disappoint everyone in my family if I didn't do the "right thing." I wanted to a great mom, the best wife to my husband, a loving daughter, a kind sister, the best friend, an awesome artist, and keeping up with every demand thrown at me. I couldn't imagine disappointing anyone in my life. I was so afraid of that judgment. I was so afraid I would be looked at as "not enough." I was so afraid to step off this hamster wheel that kept me moving at 100 miles an hour and no time to be still. That hamster wheel lasted almost 15 years. I don't even know how I managed. I often wonder how my ability to multi-task, take on too much, and still get it down, no rest, no recharge, sometimes to the point of exhaustion - I mean my body literally shutting down and not being able to get out of bed for days kind of exhaustion affected our children. I was supposed to be modeling a balanced life, not one of perceived success... I didn't know what success really meant. I believed it meant being amazing at everything I tried. I believed it meant I had to work until I got it right. I believed hard work pays off. And all that is true accept there are holes in that story.
Hard work pays off when you are also learning. One of the wisest things I ever heard anyone say is, "Work smarter, not harder." Our daughter told me that when she was 14 years old. I will never forget it. Working smarter is not about working yourself into the ground. It's about observing, problem solving, and taking the time you need to make wise decisions. If you are stuck in quick sand and you move frantically, you will sink faster. If you move very slowly, you can actually get out. Slowing down, way down, was the key to getting unstuck. Yes, I need help to do that. Yes, it took awhile, but that's all ok. My journey to living a life of joy and harmony is my own meandering path of ups and downs, over mountains and rivers, and sometimes sitting amongst the trees, or laying in the sand on the beach.
When we focus too much on judging ourselves, our shame, our fear, and our guilt, we find ourselves stuck. My fear was paralyzing me. I couldn't move forward until I sat with my fear and dug deeper into where that fear came from. It's a funny thing how we all eventually arrive at the enlightenment bridge and then there's no going back to the way things were. Knowing there's a way out - and seeking that way is the first, tiny step towards freedom. I hear so many of my clients say, "I'm so tired."
I understand. Your body is trying to speak and you keep ignoring it. If you have a part of your body that is hurting, take a moment and ask yourself this question, "what would (said body part) say if it could speak?" I promise an answer will fill your mind on the spot. Listen.
When our mind and body crash into one another it is time to pay attention. For some it needs to be dramatic and a huge event, for others, it's a quiet change that makes all the difference.
Finding your own stepping stones to walk out of that quick sand is possible when we deeply listen to ourselves. If you could do ONE thing for your body today, what would it be? For me, I'm drinking my favorite tea with honey, I've removed coffee from my life entirely, and I'm eating tons of fruit - I make a fruit salad every day. I also have a night time ritual of drinking Moonbrew nighttime superfood in rose that is absolutely amazing along with my elderberry syrup to keep my immune system happy and healthy. My wish for you is that you find what works for your body, love your body, take the time to care for your body, and clarity will follow.
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