Three Ways to Stop Negative Self Talk

It is soooo easy to silently beat yourself up and be overly critical of yourself and everything you do. This type of behavior pattern can ruin a person's life and truly stifle every aspect of their well being. Honestly, everyone does it, but when it starts affecting how you view yourself over time, it withers away your self esteem. Now, imagine those kids out there that are told from the very beginning they are nothing, useless, a mistake, a piece of dirt, etc. etc. etc. What if they start to believe it like it is the truth.... like that horrible lie is actually the truth. It happens every day. There may not be a way to change that, but what we can change is how a person responds to those lies. We can change how they feel about themselves.

There are many degrees of negative self talk and some may argue that a little bit is actually good for us, keeps us humble and keeps us improving our lives. I agree that we need to recognize our mistakes and always take responsibility for what we've done, that's living life with integrity, right? But negative self talk is the more than that. It's like a quick sand slowly burying a person until they no longer can move out of their thought patterns. They aren't living a life anymore. They're merely surviving. They tend to repeat the same mistakes in life, suffering the same consequences, never really improving their lives.

So how do we stop this negativity from taking over our lives on a daily basis? Believe it or not YOU can do these things right now today to end the broken record that keeps you down.

#1 STOP.... Get your own attention. When you hear that voice saying something negative, and you are now aware of it, yell back, "STOP!"

#2 LOOK..... Look at where your body is right now... Observe everything around you, the sights, smells, temperature, everything. By using your natural given senses, you get back to using your body.

#3 LISTEN.... I always say, "Listen to your heart" but I know that is a huge leap for others. I realize that listening to your heart or soul, can be a huge challenge when they've been buried under so much noise. Instead, I invite you to listen to nature... Listen to the sounds of nature, whether that be the ocean, the trees, a waterfall, a river, birds singing, even a wolf howling. All of these sounds from nature are gifts to get us back into our senses - where we belong. When we listen and surround ourselves with nature, our heart hears it too... Our true selves emerge, even if for a glimpse.

Horses remind me every day how important it is to BE PRESENT..... My perceptions, my body language, and my energy all have an effect on the herd, for good reason.... They were designed to feel all these things for their own survival. I am honored to work along side such intelligent animals. Think about it, if I were to walk into a field thinking I am a loser, I am not worthy, or I am not enough, the horses would eye me up and walk away. They will always walk away or even ignore someone when there is negative thoughts clouding their minds. I've seen it with my clients. "How come the horse is ignoring me?" a client asks. "What comes up for you because you're being ignored? I ask back.

"I don't like it. It feels like I'm being abandoned, but I know I'm not... the horse is still here."

"You think you're not, but what do you feel?" I ask again.

"I don't like this... I don't want to feel abandoned ever again!"

And there it is... the doorway to her emotional pain. The horse will come back to her side. The horse responds to authenticity, but only when the person has given themselves over to the vulnerability that is needed to fully experience the hurt and the healing... You don't get one without the other.

We need to get out of our minds and into our bodies in order to get back into the present. That is why it is called the present.... It is truly a gift to live life in it.

I used to get caught in negative self talk when I wanted to take a risk in life. When I saw something I believed in and wasn't sure how to make it a reality. That was when the negative talk showed up big time. I use those three steps above to get my attention back to the present and back to taking small, actionable steps towards my vision. I also spent an enormous amount of time with our horses. There is no doubt, we have some very gifted horses at Wildfire Dreams. If you feel moved to work with me and the healing herd, we are here for you when you're ready.