There was once this kind, smart woman who like most women, knew that love was the key to a blessed life. Her children were healthy and kind. It was all she ever dreamed of for them. On top of that, they were incredibly talented people, loving, funny, and absolutely amazing in every way. She herself was healthy as well, always there for others and doing all she could to care for everyone around her. She worked at home, she worked at a job, she worked for her husband and worked for her self. When work became monotonous, she would day dream about her children when they were little. How they would run into the house to show her what they found, or watch them running across the yard together. One of her favorite memories of the two of them was when they would walk through the woods together. She always walked behind them so she could watch over them and all that they explored. Her son wanted to race ahead. Her daughter stopped and pointed out the green moss holding onto the trees. Both of them were keen observers of all the life around them. When they spotted a deer or squirrels, and sometimes hawks or bunnies, this woman's heart glowed.
There is no doubt that as many joys she enjoyed with her children, there were challenges that walked right along side of them. Often, she would ask her self, "which wolf are you feeding right now?" when her mind would try to drag her down into the sabotage, or the over analyzing, or possibly worse, the imagining of everything that could possibly go wrong in their lives- but never did. With such an amazing imagination, she had to watch over her mind like a warrior - like a woman with a sword who said, "NO, there is no reason for this suffering"... and that is exactly what it was. Self induced suffering.
"Instead, why don't you celebrate? What is each wolf trying to say?"
Her ego would argue with the warrior. "I don't want to celebrate! I want to figure it all out right now! I want to prepare for the worst, play out all the ways that things will go wrong, because you know they will."
Warrior Woman would raise an eyebrow, and slowly smile "I see... You want someone to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok."
Silence
Clarity
"How did you know?"
"I would imagine it's because I've been watching you and growing with you, and experiencing all of life's ups and downs right along side of you for decades. And I FEEL what you are feeling. I SEE what you are seeing. I also know with all my heart, that right now... right this very second, you are ok. You are with me and I am with you. And we are together, forever, until the very end.
"Oh.... I guess I am ok. I have a warrior inside me."
"Yes, yes you do."
"Huh, well, I'm going to keep feeding my wolves, both of them - because I need both of them and I don't want to let either of them go. They are both a part of me. I honor them both.
The warrior inside this woman knows there is a place for optimism and a place for pessimism. Each can be honored and held in ways that balance the woman within.
My optimist wolf is black, My pessimist wolf is white. How about yours?